I'm baaaaaccckkkk!!!!

How are you my little blog website? It's been a while since I wrote my last blog and now I'm kind a missing you. My life's gone a little bit confusing and a lot has happened, well not really a lot but things didn't quite went to the place I planned it to go.

Let me break it down one by one. Well, let's see, I decided to engage in a small-time business venture. I was selling undergarments less than the ones being sold at the mall. I was enthusiastic about it especially that I can earn from it. I was eagerly updating and advertising on my online store website and I had to admit it was a bit hard maintaining it. I wasn't able to last though. My supplier was not very reliable, hence, I started to become a certified bum. I never realized this during this time because I was determined that life has more in-store for me. I was too spirited to notice I was starting something I would regret later.

So business thing was a thing of the past, what's next for me was I started to work as a Call Center Agent. Not part of my plan but heck, here I was filling up applicant's form interviewing and all. Maybe I was just tired looking for a job in my field or maybe I also want to experience and feel what the fuzz is all about being a Call Center Agent. This profession is pretty in demand and pretty well compensated. I had fun at first and I gained friends too. I was earning again and was able to buy and eat whatever I want. That was just a silly dream I wanted to come true when I was still in college, and here I am living my dream; what a stupid dream that was! It was never-wracking talking to a customer on our training exercise. I deliberately want to hang up the phone and just sit there do nothing. Of course I didn't do that because it was a live conversation with a customer and I can't just leave it hanging. I got used to it after the training when I was officially taking calls. I even got a kudos call which was a good achievement, I might add. Unfortunately, I only lasted 3 months at that call center. The pay sucks (because I'm a first-timer on a call center company) and I keep my mother awake at 3 in the morning before I leave and most importantly I'm starting to look like a zombie and my hair is falling and I have dandruff because of the sudden change of body clock. I didn't like the lifestyle of a call center agent as well. I don't smoke and at that time I was not big on drinking coffee so nothing can keep me awake while taking calls at a very early morning, so might as well quit.

Months past, I was still on the verge of whatever confusion I'm in. My brother asked me if I wanted to go back to school. I graduated a few years back but my brother was talking about an advanced degree so I can just apply abroad and have a much bigger opportunity. I'd say sometimes I'm an obedient little girl so I looked for a grad school who's accepting second semester enrollees. I'm in social development field so I wanted to take Social Work but I had to earn it as a second degree before enrolling to a grad school. I felt that I was pressed with time so I decided to take a course that is related to social work, and that is, Social Services and Development. The section head was warm and welcoming and willing to accept me to the department. I started my classes and I decided to not work for a while since my brother's paying for my expenses and focus on my studies. This was the regret I was talking about. I never should've decided to stop working to be able to enrich my knowledge and improve my capabilities. I was starting to lose confidence on myself and I know this will not come as suprise, but I didn't finish my masters. I left my thesis hanging and now I'm hoping to come back and finish it before it's too late. Hoping, still hoping and hoping and mopping.

I was also brokenhearted, with my love on living and with my love on challenging. I was pretty messed up, and until now still am. Not to mention a guy whom I think played just a little bit with my feelings and left me heartbroken.

People think I'm stupid and know nothing. I think even my family thinks I'm going nowhere. Notice how things I did ended so suddenly. Maybe because I have ADD or something psychological. I'm stubborn but too emotional when it comes to things that involved my life. I sometimes end up hurting people emotionally without noticing it. I think about things that I shouldn't be thinking of. I know you probably think this story has some kind of a happy ending but believe me, I'm also looking for a happy ending. I've had plenty of diaries and to be honest, I'm starting another one but I'm too lazy to write and yeah, I can't finish what I decided to start. My diary only has a few pages of written accounts and yet here I am starting to blog . . . again.

There you have it my little anything goes blogsite. I started you 4 years ago and forgotten about you but here I am making a blog. I've always believed diaries are bullshit but truth is, I'm the bullshit. Hayyyyy!!! I really do miss you. I hope to see you again . . .